Friends General Conference

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How Do I? - A HFMM FAQ

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How do l . . . ?

Frequently asked questions about the meeting - with brief responses.

 We are pleased that you continue to worship with us! You may have questions about the life of this meeting. Following are some questions often asked. If you need more information, please speak to the "Corner Friend", who is a member of the Ministry and Counsel Committee.

What can I do to more deeply experience worship?

  • Come to worship with "heart and mind prepared" through devotional reading, prayer or meditation during the week.
  • Be courteous of other worshippers by arriving early or on time.
  • Make sure your cell phone and other electronic devices are turned off.
  • As you settle into worship, gently let go of distractions and open yourself to the workings of the Spirit.
  • Join others in gathering together as a single body to experience God/Spirit/Divine's presence.
  • Seek to listen to messages with on open, listening heart. Although the speaker may use faith language that doesn't correspond to your faith language, try to receive it in the Light; listening beyond, behind and beneath the words to find the meaning.
  • Honor each message with a period of worshipful silence before another message is offered so that all may have an opportunity to receive messages in their fullness.

How do I know when to speak during worship?

Each of us seeks to communicate directly with God and to feel the Divine Presence in our midst. Think about the following as you consider whether to speak:

  • Take a moment to test that leading - is it a "motion" of Divine source or a "notion" of ego? If a notion, perhaps you need to wait.
  • Test whether the message is one for those gathered or for you personally. Rest in it and see where you are then led.
  • Test whether you are directly responding to an earlier message. A more appropriate time to respond would be after the rise of worship and in the spirit of Love and mutual seeking.
  • Sometimes a theme emerges from messages given.
  • Test whether the message might be taken as a political statement, lecture or personal announcement. Such messages are rarely grounded in the Spirit.
  • If after all this testing, the message still needs to be given at this time, then rise and speak loudly and clearly so that all may hear what you have been given to speak, Do not concern yourself with eloquence or finely organized sentences; leave room for Spirit working through others who are present.

How do I participate in the monthly meetings for worship with attention to business? (Our monthly meetings to conduct the business of the meeting)

  • Attend! All are welcome and encouraged to participate, whether a member of the meeting or an attender/seeker.
  • Come prepared and informed about items under consideration.
  • Come with mind and heart open to the working of the Spirit; set aside personal and political interests and be prepared to be open to all possibilities.
  • Maintain a worshipful presence. Remain focused on the business at hand
  • When you are led to speak, raise your hand and wait to be recognized by the clerk. Then speak briefly and to the point, without repetition.
  • Listen carefully and with respect to others, refraining from side comments and rebuttal.
  • Trust that committees have carefully done their work; that proposals and recommendations have been seasoned in worship.
  • When differences are present be open to Spirit moving us forward.
  • Seek to understand what is meant by "the sense of the meeting"* and God's will.
  • Be aware that all present share responsibility for listening for the sense of the meeting.

*The outcome of the process of discernment through which we seek understanding of God's will on the matter at hand. The sense of the meeting is stated by the clerk and recorded when approved by the body.

What is a clearness committee and why might I request one? A clearness committee is a group of Friends who are called together by one of the meeting's committees to sit with another Friend who is seeking clarity around a concern of a spiritual, personal, financial, or a social action nature. Your need will be considered at the next committee meeting and the appropriate committee will be asked to form a clearness committee to meet with you. Please know that finding compatible times for all committee members can be slow, be assured that your need has not been forgotten. However, if your need for a clearness is an emergency, do not hesitate to make personal contact with the clerk of the meeting or Ministry and Counsel.

How do I request membership in the meeting?

When you are clear that you desire to be a member of this meeting, contact or write a letter to the clerk of the meeting or Ministry and Counsel Committee stating your desire. Include information about how you came to this decision. A clearness committee will be appointed to meet with and get to know you better. Together you and the clearness committee will discern and clarify how membership deepens your relationship with the meeting. Ask to see the Membership document for more details. We recommend reading Pendle Hill Pamphlet # 371 - Members One of Another, by Thomas Gates, which is available in our library.

How do I contribute to the life of the meeting through committee work?

Our Nominating Committee seeks guidance of the Spirit in pairing the needs of the meeting with the gifts and leadings of members and attenders. You may be asked if you feel led to serve in a position or on a committee or you may be invited to consider service by our Nominating Committee. From this discernment, the meeting appoints Friends to serve on the various committees that season the work of the meeting. If you find you feel called to a particular committee's work or understand you have the gifts needed to carry out the work of any committee, please contact the clerk of Nominating. You need not wait until the beginning of a new year (our year runs from June 1 - May 31) to begin service on a committee, but do speak to the clerk of that committee to see if your gifts are needed at this time.

How do I contribute financially to the meeting?

We receive contributions in the form of checks or cash. Contributions can be left in the designated box. If you need a receipt for tax purposes please indicate from whom cash donations come.

"In kind" gifts are credited when a receipt for the gift is submitted to the treasurer. In kind gifts might be the donation of supplies, copying, food, etc.

How do I request marriage/holy union/commitment ceremony under the care of the meeting?

We are open to marrying couples regardless of their sexual orientation. If you and your partner want to be married under the care of the Meeting, send a letter of request to the clerk of Ministry and Counsel. A clearness committee will be appointed to meet with you to explore what it means to be married under the care of the Meeting and your understanding of marriage. Clearness may not be reached in one meeting and it is wise to allow several months for the process to receive due consideration.

How do I arrange for a memorial meeting? You can request assistance from Ministry & Counsel Committee. They will guide you in the process of planning a meeting for memorial.. The amount of participation and support asked of the meeting is a mutual agreement between you and the meeting and family members if desired.

We are grateful to the work and publications of the monthly meetings of Lancaster, PA, Nashville, TN and Madison, wr that served as models for the development of this pamphlet. September 2011

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