Salem Creek Friends Meeting

Approved Minutes for 12 August & 2 September 2018

Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business

 

SCFM CALENDAR August–September 2018

 

19 August 2018         Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m. 

                                    Query:How do I live in the power of that Life and Spirit that takes away the

                                    occasion of all wars? How do I approach conflict inside and outside Meeting by

                                    recognizing that of God in the other? How do I use my words to increase fuller

                                    understanding?

 

26 August 2018         Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m. 

                                    Sandwich Sunday: What gifts do each of us bring to the Meeting:

                                    a discussion to help inform the Nominating Committee.

                                    Bring finger food to share.

                                    --Baked goods to the Samaritan Ministries. Samaritan Wish                                                                        List available at http://www.samaritanforsyth.org/in-kind-gifts/             ...                                     --Non-perishable food items and toiletries for Second Harvest Food Bank

                                    --School supplies for the Forsyth Education Warehouse

 

2 September 2018     Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m.

                                    Continuation of August meeting for worship with a concern for business.                                      

8–9 September 2018 PFF/PFYM Fall Retreat, Seven Springs Retreat Center.

                                    Lunch & dinner on Saturday will be provided, and breakfast on Sunday.

                                    The Saturday afternoon discussion will be on the PFYM Minute on

                                    Climate Change.

 

9 September 2018     Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m.

                                   

14 September 2018   Monthly potluck, 6:30 p.m. at the home of Sam Dempsey & Dee Edelman.

 

16 September 2018   Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m.

                                    Meeting for worship with a concern for business.

 

23 September 2018   Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m.

                                    Query:How do I ground myself in the understandings of my faith? Am I clear

                                    about my beliefs? How do I share my faith and beliefs with others, inside and

                                    outside of the Meeting community?

 

30 September 2018   Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m. 

                                    Sandwich Sunday: Clearness.

                                    Bring finger food to share.

                                    --Baked goods to the Samaritan Ministries. Samaritan Wish                                                                        List available at http://www.samaritanforsyth.org/in-kind-gifts/             ...                                     --Non-perishable food items and toiletries for Second Harvest Food Bank

                                    --School supplies for the Forsyth Education Warehouse

 

7 October 2018          Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m. 

                                    Worship Sharing: Are there aspects of my faith I would like to explore more

                        fully both in and out of Meeting? How can I approach making this happen in my life?

                        How do I find inspiration from other religions and spiritual traditions?

 

14 October 2018        Meeting for worship and First Day School, 10:00 a.m. 

                                    Meeting for worship with a concern for business.

 

LOOKING AHEAD

10 November 2018   PFYM Interim Meeting at New Garden Friends Meeting, Greensboro.

 

14 February 2019      PFYM Interim Meeting at New Garden Friends Meeting, Greensboro.

 

___________________________________________________________

PRESENT: 8/12: Melrose Buchanan, John Cardarelli, Marty Carroll, Christina Connell, Dick Connell (clerk), Judy Conrad, Sam Dempsey, Dee Edelman, Lisa Gould (recording clerk), and Linda Poller.

Present 9/2: Joan Alspaw, Melrose Buchanan, John Cardarelli, Marty Carroll, Christina Connell, Dick Connell (clerk), Judy Conrad, Sam Dempsey, Dee Edelman, and Lisa Gould (recording clerk).

 

1) The meeting began with a period of silent worship.

 

2) The minutes of 10 June were read and approved.

 

3) Treasurer's Report: There is $3,357.30 in the checking account; $1,300 in the Memorial Fund, and $23,200 in the Meetinghouse Fund. We have received $3,700 in contributions YTD, and have expended $2,240, for a net total of $1,460. Outstanding budgeted obligations include $300 in donations to wider Quaker organizations, $1250 for committee, $500 for facility expense, and $1750 for the Meetinghouse Fund.

            We received a note of thanks from Right Sharing of World Resources, and a request for a donation to Friends Home in Greensboro, in honor of their 60th anniversary. Quaker House has also requested funds to produce the videos about their 50th upcoming anniversary.

 

4) Correspondence: We received the recent FCNL newsletter, with the theme “The True Cost of Climate Change”; the summer issue of The Good Samaritan [Samaritan Ministries newsletter]; the summer Quaker House newsletter; and AFSC’s Quaker Action, with the theme “A Time to Rebuild”.

 

5) Nominating Committee: The Nominating Committee is about to convene, in preparation for presenting a new slate of clerks, committees, and representatives for 2019. The committee would like us to think about the individual gifts that we each have to offer the Meeting (and the world), and what gifts we would like to cultivate. Friends agreed to have “Gifts” be the topic of the upcoming Sandwich Sunday, with Christina facilitating that discussion.

 

6) Ministry & Counsel: At the August portion of this meeting for worship with a concern for business, Salem Creek Friends discussed whether to record some or part of our query discussions, and whether to continue with the two-pronged approach of recording general query responses but not the personal query component. Friends also expressed a desire to use queries that had been discerned to the yearly meeting level. Some Friends feel that the summaries of those discussions (which are included with the minutes) are an important part of the Meeting’s outreach activities; concern was also expressed that dividing the process into two components might make those who cannot stay so long feel excluded and like “second-class” members. Others feel that the recording may keep some people from sharing as deeply and fully as they might, and impede spiritual growth. Friends agreed to continue this discussion at the September 2 portion of this business meeting.

            Ministry & Counsel met during the interim between August 12 and September 2; what follows here is from the September 2 discussion.

• Queries: M & C presented a set of queries to use for the remainder of this year and for 2019 (attached). Most or all of the queries were taken directly from various yearly meetings directly or with slight re-wording. M & C made them open-ended rather than yes/no questions, and tried to remove phrasing that implied only one correct answer. The committee also recommended that the query discussions be recorded for the minutes. The Meeting clerk will send out the queries and seek approval at the September 16 meeting for worship with a concern for business. It was suggested that these queries be shared with PFYM, since the yearly meeting has not yet established a set of its own queries.

 

• Worship Sharing: “M & C recognizes that each person is at a different place on their spiritual journey. As a Meeting community we feel a responsibility to provide opportunities for spiritual growth. For some that is being on a committee, or accepting a clerk position. It may be going to School of the Spirit or being given the opportunity to clerk Yearly Meeting. For parents it might just be childcare, so they can have some uninterrupted time for worship. We believe that worship sharing without notes is another such opportunity. This allows for a different level of safety and sharing. We recommend the meeting provide monthly worship-sharing opportunities. We do not have a recommendation about whether this is in conjunction with queries or at a different time. Our recommendation is regular, monthly worship sharing for those who choose and feel that this is an appropriate opportunity for them.”

 

            M & C distributed a set of prompts for worship sharing (attached), designed to stimulate discussion. The order and wording may be changed. M & C recommended using these prompts at least through one cycle, which would be through July 2019. Friends agreed to have a worship-sharing session (unrecorded) at the rise of Meeting on the first Sunday of the month. Meeting can decide if it wants to use a prepared “prompt” or focus on a different topic, if needed. We agreed that prior to each session it is helpful to be reminded of how worship sharing works, and it was noted that we hope that all our discussions are in a spirit of worship sharing, remembering to listen to one another, leave space between speakers, and letting others speak before we speak a second time.

 

• Demographics, care during serious illness, final wishes

            Three documents were distributed to everyone attending. M & C is asking all members/attenders to fill out at least the first page of the demographics document and return it to Meeting. All of the rest is voluntary. Please share any that you fill out with family members. The reminder of that document includes information for a memorial service and final disposition of remains. Please include anything you would like Meeting to know.

            The second document is a Declaration of Life and is a statement directing the state to not seek the death penalty if you are murdered. It is not legally binding but will likely be used as a victim statement in court. This should be notarized if you choose to use it. Please talk to your family about your wishes.

            The third document is Five Wishes.  This includes advanced directives such as living will and medical power of attorney and can take the place of whatever you currently have in this regard. If you want this to replace other documents, please revoke the older versions. Five Wishes also includes how you wish to be treated in the event you cannot speak for yourself, such as whether you would like music playing or massage. It also has a section on what you want your family and friends to know after you are gone. Again, please share your decisions with your family.  

            If you would like Meeting to have a copy of these, fill them out and return (be sure to keep a copy for yourself). Declaration of Life and Five Wishes should be notarized. Five Wishes is a legal document if you are using it to replace Health Care Power of Attorney and a Living Will; if you are not replacing existing documents, you may also just use Five Wishes to express your end-of-life wishes and what you want said to your family. If you choose not to use these materials, please return the blank copies to save Meeting money and trees (Meeting had to pay to obtain the Five Wishes documents).

            Friends discussed where to keep the filled-out forms, and agreed that the best place is a bank safebox. We will investigate getting a box at BB&T, where our account is.

            Friends commended M & C members Dee, Melrose, Linda, and Marty for their thoughtful work on all these items.

 

7) Religious Education: The July Sandwich Sunday discussion focused on First Day School curriculum; this will be discussed soon.

            Judy expressed her thanks for all the donations of furniture, books, wall hangings, and more that have made the children’s room more inviting.

            Work on the library is ongoing. If Friends have books to donate, please place them in the lower cabinets in the worship room, so they can processed (and let either Judy or Lisa know that you’ve put them there).

            John will prepare a new sign-up sheet for First Day School.

 

8) Community Care: No report.

 

9) Peace & Social Concerns: No report.

 

10) Building & Grounds: No report 8/12. The clerk received an email from WSFM Friend Dan Ariail, regarding the status of the property and groups utilizing the facilities. Dick will be in contact with Dan. The committee hopes to meet on Sunday, September 9.

 

11) PFF/PFYM: The PFF/PFYM Fall Retreat will be held September 8th and 9th at Seven Springs Retreat Center in Mocksville [SevenSpringsRetreatNC.com]. The Saturday afternoon discussion will be on the Minute on Climate Change approved at the spring sessions. Lunch and dinner on Saturday will be provided, as will breakfast on Sunday. Friends are welcome to camp on the site.

           

12) Interfaith Winston-Salem & NC Council of Churches: If Salem Creek Friends Meeting is interested in exploring the possibility of being part of the 2019 Interfaith Tour, we need to begin thinking about this soon.

 

13) Quaker House: John will speak with the treasurer about a suggested special donation to Quaker House.

 

14) Old Business (9/2/18)

• There has not yet been a meeting of all the clerks, to discuss committee structure.
• We have received a proposed lease from Winston-Salem Friends Meeting, which includes a $25/month rent increase (effective January 2019), a 90-day notice for termination of the lease, specific times for use of the building, and a request for liability insurance. The Building Committee will draft a response to be presented at the September 16 meeting for business.

 

15) New Business: No new business.

 

16) The August–September calendar was reviewed. A suggestion was made that we might have one of our potluck dinners at The Providence, the restaurant run by the culinary school program of Second Harvest Food Bank.

 

17) The meeting closed with a period of silent worship.

 

 

John Punshon quote shared by Sam Dempsey:

            “GEORGE FOX took a text from Paul’s Letter to the Romans…ended with the words, ‘…You will say, Christ saith this, and the Apostles say this; but what canst thou say? Are thou a child of Light and has walking in the Light, and what thou speakest is inwardly from God?’

            “Like all preachers, he was calling for a decision…Fox knew that it was easy to fake religious belief and commitment. He was saying that it was not enough to be able to quote authorities and agree with them, because in fact we usually choose to follow the authorities that agree with us and not the other way around…

            “This little piece of history is the key to how Quakers developed their distinctive method of keeping a check on their spiritual conditions by the use of Queries…

            “The Queries ought to work by drawing our attention to what matters in the religious life, so we can see what doesn’t. They don’t tell us what the truth is so much as suggest to us where we find it ourselves. In one way the most characteristic Quaker experience is being led. The Psalmist did not need a map of the terrain, but knew that there was safety beside the still waters, and also in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. That assurance came from faith in the Good Shepherd, not knowledge of where the path was leading.

            “Fox’s words, ‘What canst thou say?’ are now widely known and appreciated among Friends. We have probably learned from our history that we sometimes do not live up to our principles, and we can make idols of our Quaker folkways. But the antidote is there in Fox’s words and the best of Quaker practice. One can paraphrase Fox by inventing a Query—‘Fox says this, Yearly Meeting says that, the conventional wisdom says the other. But what can you say?’…That is the only query that really matters.”

 

From: Daily Readings from Quaker Writings Ancient and Modern Vol. II, edited by Linda Hill Renfer, 1995. The original quote appeared in an article in Quaker Life, "And What About You" Jan/Feb. 1993.

Salem Creek Friends Meeting Queries for 2018

 

1. How do I faithfully prepare for worship? In what ways might we each deepen our collective experience of worship?

 

2. How do we keep the worship in Meeting for Business? When direction seems lacking, how do we help the group see this as a challenge to a more prayerful search for truth?

 

3. How does our Meeting nurture the gifts of all attenders, encouraging ministry in word and deed?

 

4. How might we know each other’s spiritual and temporal needs and minister one to another? How might I show that am I willing to graciously accept the help of others?

 

5. How might we effectively foster a spirit of inquiry and personal growth to develop a loving and understanding attitude in ourselves and others, both inside and outside of the Meeting Community?  How might we provide and encourage religious education across all age groups inside the Meeting community?

 

6. What steps might we take individually and as a Meeting to assure that our Meeting reflects respect for all and is free from practices rooted in prejudice? How might we encourage individual reflection on our own assumptions about others?

 

7. How might we “let our lives speak” to the wider community? What actions are we taking to promote social justice? How do we find balance between promoting social justice, living simply, and not being pulled in too many directions?

 

8. How might I live in the power of that Life and Spirit that takes away the occasion of all wars? How do I approach conflict inside and outside Meeting by recognizing that of God in the other? How do I use my words to increase fuller understanding?

 

9. How do I ground myself in the understandings of my faith? Am I clear about my beliefs? How do I share my faith and beliefs with others, inside and outside of the Meeting Community?

 

10. How am I encouraging the responsible use of natural resources and their nurture for future generations? How do I avoid wasteful consumptions and seek to preserve the beauty and balance of God’s world?

 

11. Do we regard our time, talents, energy, money, material possessions, and other resources as gifts from God, to be held in trust and shared according to the Light we are given?

 

12. Where do I struggle to align my spiritual beliefs/testimonies with my way of life? How do we support each other in living with integrity?

 

9/1/2018

Prompts for Worship Sharing

 

1. When is vocal ministry most meaningful to me? How do I know when I am led to speak in vocal ministry?

 

1. How do I prayerfully consider the many concerns lifted up in Meeting for Business?

 

1. How do I nurture those within Meeting who take on leadership roles so they avoid burnout?

 

1. How do I show that I am wiling to graciously accept the help of others? How might I graciously give to others without expectations?

 

1. How am I striving to develop my physical, emotional and mental capacities toward reaching my Divinely given potential? What are the ways Meeting is helping or could help my current spiritual growth?

 

1. How have I changed my assumptions about others after reflection and how has Meeting helped me do that?

 

1. What experiences have I had with interrupting prejudicial or hurtful remarks?

 

1. How do I “let my life speak” to the wider community? Where am I feeling the nudge to take further action?

 

1. How have I approached conflict by recognizing that of God in the other? When have I found that difficult?

 

1. Are there aspects of my faith I would like to explore more fully both in and out of Meeting? How can I approach making this happen in my life? How do I find inspiration from other religions and spiritual traditions?

 

1. Where do I find the balance between living in comfort and protection of the environment? Where do I struggle with the desire to protect the environment?

 

1. Where would I like to further simplify my life? What support would be helpful?

 

 

9/1/18

Salem Creek Friends Meeting

Query Discussion 6/17/18

 

In attendance: Melrose Buchanan, John Cardarelli, Marty Carroll, Judy Conrad, Dick Connell, Sam Dempsey, Lisa Gould, and Gary Hornsby.

 

 

The first query for group discernment is: What steps are we taking individually and as a Meeting to assure that our Meeting reflects respect for all and is free from practices rooted in prejudice?

 

            Racial prejudice comes initially to mind with this query, but prejudice can be much broader than that, encompassing class, education level, economic status, religious beliefs, political views, and more. Class differences can be especially challenging: for example, how best to interact with people who are begging on the streets, who are treating their peers in very negative ways, or are exhibiting other difficult or uncontrolled behaviors.

            While Salem Creek Friends Meeting is pretty homogeneous in terms of class, skin color, and age, our outreach efforts and activities—El Buen Pastor, the food bank and Forsyth Education Warehouse, Samaritan Ministries, the Interfaith Pilgrimage, and the wider organizations we support—speak to a broader community. In a county where there is a ~67% poverty rate among our school children, and in a country where one in 6 Americans is supported by SNAP, our efforts are needed.

            Friends’ practice is crucial in these times: listening carefully to one another, being open to people with different views and life experiences, and seeking not to judge or automatically react in negative ways. We are also reminded that part of our lack of “diversity” lies not in prejudice, but in the nature of our worship: while some people are attracted to unprogrammed worship and unpastored meetings, most are not, even among Friends (globally, the majority of Friends live in Africa and belong to programmed, pastored meetings).

                       

 

The second query for personal worship sharing is: How have I changed my assumptions about others after reflection and how has the Meeting helped me do that?

           

            During worship sharing, Friends spoke of the importance of being open, listening to one another and the Spirit, avoiding assumptions and snap judgments, and always “looking for that of God” in each person.

 

 

15 July 2018 Query Discussion

 

In attendance: John Cardarelli, Marty Carroll, Christina Connell, Dick Connell, Sam Dempsey, Dee Edelman, Lisa Gould, and Doug Hahn (visitor from Tallahassee MM).

 

 

Query:How do we “let our lives speak” to the wider community? What actions are we taking to promote social justice?

 

The ancient values of honor, self-discipline, learning, and seeking enlightenment are as important today as they were centuries ago. Today’s world holds much stress and darkness, and the need for a positive attitude and looking for the Light in each person we encounter is also vital.

 

The song Let there be peace on Earth encourages us to step forward and take action. It is easy to feel discouraged and guilty that we are not doing all we might do, but we are reminded that individuals can help make big changes. It is a challenge to discern when it is time to say “Yes” to a call to action, and we are asked be thoughtful and open-hearted when offered such opportunities.

 

While we are small in number, Salem Creek Friends are involved in many efforts to help make the world a better place. We are familiar with the outreach we do as a Meeting, which never seems to be as much as we’d like to be involved in, but there is also unseen activity, carried on by individual Friends outside of Meeting, in a number of spheres of endeavor. Perhaps we can find ways to share and learn more about these activities.